The Eternal Nomad

I Arrived - part2

2009-03-11T23:15:00.004-06:00

I arrived. Or that is, I thought I did. It was the right coordinates, but, something felt strange. I left my craft and walked down the landing path. to the entrance to the city. My walk broke into a run, my heart beating in my ears I ran until I reached the door and opened it. There I saw it, only not what I expected. Buildings were blackened, and charred, bullet holes perforated surviving walls. cars drove over craters of scorched ground. People bustled about amongst debris catching up with their lives. Ok, well I guess I should expect marks of war, as it did happen. Was this really my planet? I couldn't recognise it. But I saw something that confirmed my doubts. I saw a statue of a famous writer, one I used to pass to go to the market many years ago, it was beheaded. Well these things didn't matter, I was back and I was excited to get to my street, and my old house.

I took a taxi and told the driver to take me to my address. He gave me a suspicious look and accepted with a grunt. My house was outside the city, it would take a while to get there. I looked out of the window watching the city flash by. In everything I saw, the ravages of war had touched everything. The whole city looked like it had aged twice in the time that I had left it. Children played amongst ruins, people climbed over broken walls and pavement to get to where they needed to. There was something nagging in my mind when I looked at them. There was something strange about them, something different that I could not put my finger on. It was something in their eyes, just then I look at the car's rear view mirror seeing the taxi drivers' eyes studying me. He looked away and onto the road when he noticed me looking back. We left the city as buildings changed into countryside in my window. Trees and fields whizzed past. I looked out anticipating forests. There was a huge forest that surrounded my village. I kept looking out to see them. To be continued...

Going Back Home - Part1

2009-03-11T00:30:00.003-06:00

At last, a miracle! I can go back home. I received news my planet survived the onslaught. After much bloodshed and bombing people lived, cleaned up and survived. The cruel dictator was removed and killed never to return. People have rebuilt as best they could. There is a delicate peace now. The prospect of return filled my heart with such joy that tears flowed freely down my cheeks. At last, to walk amongst countrymen, head held high, oh what sweet anticipation! I quickly organised my return. I packed my meager possessions and hopped onto my craft to zoom back to the wide embrace of my long lost motherland. It is a long trek but it did not dent my enthusiasm. As I steered my ship through a meteor field I started to remember the good old days. It has been 30 years since I last was there but I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember its beauty. It's luscious greenery was unsurpassed. I remember the wide variety of sweet fruit that grew there. All fruit I have eaten since has paled in comparison. I remember biting into the juicy sweet flesh, juice exploding onto my cheeks as taste exploded in my mouth. Another thing I remember was the variety of wildlife that inhabited it, I can still hear echoes of the tranquil orchestra of rhythm that played in my garden. I used to shut my eyes and listen to the harmonious melody that transpired from the humble contribution of every creature that joined me on that spot of land. With grass nuzzling under my bare feet I felt true and utter happiness, a real detachment from my everyday worries. I felt connected with the environment around me, as if a calm energy pulsated through me from the ground up relaxing every muscle and nerve. I had an almost ethereal calmness that stayed with me for days after. I gripped the wheel with excitement. Thoughts kept whizzing around my head of what I will see and what I will do. I remembered the kindness of people there, the open homes the welcoming gestures of a happy people who were not afraid to think, who were free to live their lives. I remember how educated they were, their thirst for education was unquenchable. Books from all around the galaxy found themselves in the hands of so many countrymen. Writers and poets were celebrated, coffee shops and roads were named after these heros of words. Art and music had its place in society which enjoyed and supported the creative process of innovation. They were an enlightened people who could discuss philosophy, engineering and sport with equal ease. How I crave to sit amongst these great minds as they would shower me with great ideas, compelling stories and entertaining banter.

Tribulations of Migration

2009-03-10T00:22:00.008-06:00

As you know, I am a nomad. I have not been able to settle in one place for long. My travels have become my custom as I travel from planet to planet searching for a place I can call home. Some lands are welcoming, others less so. Most of the time it is a muted reception. We cause much conflict within the Settled. I guess I can understand. Their deep roots have penetrated their land for centuries bonded with it becoming one. They understand their land's subtle movements and nuances, and it knows theirs. They have braved its wrath and enjoyed its pleasures. They have their heritage drawn upon it like wrinkles of their combined history, Theirs is a relationship that stood the test of time. They have invested, they have earned their right to call it their own.

With this the Settled cannot feel but contempt for those who have arrived upon their land with yearning eyes and needy hands dreaming of what could be. They do not realise that, we too loved a land once. Grew with it between our feet, supporting us with its gentle bulk like a doting mother. We have played amongst its fruit and rewards, cherished memories on its back when life was simple and tasted sweet. We have loved it as we nestled our little faces within its earthy soil never comprehending just how lucky we were. And as orphans we come now with our broken hearts in our pockets looking for the surrogate warmth of a second mother, chasing a dream of belonging that we will never find.

Our travel weary faces do us no justice as well as our strange bodies and colours. The Settled have limited experience in what lies outside so our variety does not play in our favour. We are foreign aliens and easily become the threat to the peace of the land. We are branded and labeled, forced to carry inaccurate and sweepingly generalised tags to be constantly singled-out as the suspicious classes, the exact opposite of what we were searching for, the sense of belonging. Other misconceptions have been that we are illiterate, of minimal mental capacity, amoral, ignorant. We are patronised, looked down upon and treated disdainfully as if we were an unfortunate side-effect of their success. We bear through this with the patience of an old man who has seen it all, with a resigning tolerance, as this humiliation is still bearable compared to the untold horrors that we escaped from our homeland.

Genocide

2006-09-04T04:14:00.001-06:00

Inspired from one victim's recounts of hell...

Monster 3 - From Grim to Slim

2006-06-04T23:41:00.000-06:00

After weeks of intensive slurping, siphoning, sucking, drawing, dragging, heaving, pulling, stretching, tugging, tweaking, twitching, pinching, twisting, slashing, severing, cutting, snipping, slicing, dicing, clipping, trimming, nipping, and tucking...It was time to see the new monster.

Tada! The monster was thin! In his new svelt self he was a new person, brimming with confidence in his new modified body. He was an instant hit and became an overnight success. He was the new hero, and his inspirational story hit the headlines all over the universe. He had interviews in all the top broadcasting stations and famous magazines, all wanting to know everything about him. "I do still have the urge to eat fellow beings sometimes, but I take pills for it and I am in therapy." He hired a PR agency to handle his now taxing public life. He cameoed in million dollar tv comercials for The Suck ‘n Tuck Surgery Clinic, Sew-it-Up string manufacturers, and "SupressTheUrge" slimming pills.

The surviving Green-bellies (the beings whom he ate 2 episodes ago) protested against his sudden popularity. They sued him for gross-mortal-damage. His super-powerful team of lawyers got their case kicked out of court. This big star was too hot to touch.

He published a self-help book “From Grim to Slim – 10 Snips to a New You”. It became a great success and stayed on the best-seller list for 6 months running.

Now he is looking to sign a film deal with a Gollywood film company to create a biographical film called “the Memoirs of a Monster”.

Monster 2 - The Turn Around

2006-05-15T02:04:00.000-06:00

The monster was feeling a bit down after his green-bellies exploits with nothing to eat and was all by himself. He felt that he may need to go to a shrink. With no money at hand, he wrote a letter to Dr. Fail. In no time at all he was invited onto the show...

Dr. Fail: Today we are talking to a person that has had problems with his weight all his life, trying to fill a void within his soul.

Monster: I think my murdering, bloodshed and destruction was all really a cry for help. (sobbing through snot soaked tissues) It all started when I was 4yrs old and my mother told me off for eating the fridge, I felt so unloved and lonely, and I have been eating ever since.

Dr. Fail: And you have been overweight all your life...how was that.

Monster: It was awful, I was the fat kid of my class, they used to make fun of me...until I got expelled from school.

Dr. Fail: Why did you get expelled?

Monster: Because I ate them.

Dr. Fail: You are acting out of your victimisation, I know what you need....A makeover! I have a team of plastic surgeons, fitness trainers, nutritionists, stylists and make up artists to get you to the new you!

Monster: Oh thankyou Dr. Fail!..(blubber)...(blubber)...thankyou!

The Monster That Never Left

2006-04-20T06:10:00.000-06:00

The Planet of Two Lakes was a peaceful and beautiful land. Its people the Green-bellies, lived a good life on its lucious habitat. One day a foul little monster happened upon this bountiful land and decided that it was for him, and the local grub (the people)looked mighty tasty. Consequently he attacked, and war was on. The people fought back and it became a closely tied match.

The Green-bellies held a meeting and decided the best option was to make a truce with the monster, and they did. The terms were that the monster would be allowed to live in the southern quarter of the planet in exchange for peace and every 6 months would be presented with a sacrificial offering for lunch.

And so the deal was struck. The laws where placed, and life continued as before. "cleaning up our streets" "for the common good" - propaganda used by the authorities to legitimise their new plan. Over the years, the sacrifices became part of the culture and people took it as routine. Those believed to be expendable, or a burden on society found themselves on the monster's dinner table. Over the years, the monster, in its new nurturing environment found itself double its original size and alot more hungry. Soon the bi-annual sacrifices where not enough and the sacrifices had to be increased. The authorities where overwhelmed, and increased the sacrifices and sent more and more beings for slaughter until they ran out of the expendables and started sending whole villages to the now very huge monster. He was so big now that he cast a permanent shadow over this desperate land. The people, now vastly de-populated couldn't fight this awful monster even if they wanted to. The Green-bellies begged for help from the other planets but to no avail as no one was interested in helping them. They had no choice but to flee to neighbouring planets in refuge.

And the Planet of Two Lakes had no one but an overgrown monster who was starting to get very hungry, and now was eyeing up the neighbouring planets for some grub.

The Oracle

2006-04-18T04:29:00.000-06:00

To pay my way in this world I find crystals. I fly throughout the universe looking for them on many planets, asteroids, and other celestial bodies. It is a difficult, dangerous but, satisfying job, and I get to visit so many different and new planets everyday. I find these crystals and sell them to corporations that then inturn sell them on to high profile clients. These reflective minerals are the most stunning objects found in the universe.Consequently, they are popular throughout the galaxy and many beings pay high currency to own one. They are worn mostly at society events adorning the rich and famous, used as status symbols to determine the prominence of its owners. If you look deep into one, you will understand; crystals are a physical embodiment of perfection. The geometry inside these stones is breathtakingly accurate. They are symetrical, mathematical, elaborate, innovative, and immortal.

People wear them to look beautiful on the outside, but superficiality is not the best way in wielding such valuable stones. If you take a long deep look into one, open your mind and concentrate... you will start to see yourself. You will see your reflection in its many facets, your many faces, attitudes and personalities. You begin to discover your truth and discover the path to perfection of heart and mind. Don't see your reflection, reflect on what you see.

Colours of the World

2006-04-12T04:25:00.000-06:00

There are approximately 4 different tribes residing on one interesting planet I discovered. They are: the Reds, the Greens, the Blues, and the Yellows.

Reds
They live in the equatorial belt of the planet, closest to the sun. Consequently they are hot blooded, and hot tempered. They are emotional creatures that rock from one emotion to the next. They experience extreme emotions; they can be very friendly, hospitable and affectionate. On the flip side they can be very rude, violent and bad tempered. If they like you they would die fighting for you, but if they hate you they will kill you! They are a people that show their emotions to others. They act quickly on their emotions and leave little time for thought. They enjoy good food and make it of cultural importance to enjoy eating with loved ones. They are family-oriented and care for the old and weak of their clan with no hesitation and they highly respect elderes. Because of their emotional turmoil they are unorganised when planning ending up going around in circles, they can be clever but much of their energy in doing something evaporates with their effort due to misdirection. Time does not control them, but they control their time.

Greens
These beings live farther from the sun and are systematic creatures. Their food has much to be desired, and therefore carries no cultural significance. They are seen to be cold because they are mild in their emotions and show little to others. Logic is a big factor in their actions and so they take alot of time thinking things out before acting, sometimes, their actions come too late. They have no respect for nature and try to control and tame it to their financial desires. Only when it is a financial incentive do they care for their land. Everything in their culture has a price tag on it, as well as people. Their culture has no time for the weak or the old and they are culturally discarded as non-productive citizens. They are slaves to time and it controls every part of their existence - time is money. They are not family oriented and live mostly single lives as their expectations of a partner's traits are very high, also employment and status are a controlling factor.

Yellows
Living below the Equatorial strip, Yellows are placid, mild creatures which live simple lives. They are kind, well natured and live with a close relationship with nature and their land. They respect the land they live on and leave it as they find it. They are generally happy people. They eat spicy food and lead a family-oriented life. They are an easily dominated people and go with the flow with any new idea, or power - avoiding conflict as much as possible. If they do want to retaliate, they do it in a quiet and clandestine method in a way that you do not notice. They populate at a fast rate and have a growing population. Their power is in their numbers and they support each other completely in any situation.

Blues
Living in a cold climate these beings are hardworking and methodical people that are slaves to the system. They work like machines and are regarded as similar and equal to each other. They have no differences in status between them and they all exist for a common goal. They are strong, and solid people that are very stable and set in their ways. Their food is not attractive but their main elixir is alcohol. They can handle their drink, and it is strong. They are emotionally stiff and due to that can be quite gruff in their actions and ways.

Scum of the earth

2006-04-06T03:23:00.000-06:00

A murdering dictator cannot function by himself. He needs an army of minions to function for him. A dictator very rarely does the killing himself, there's those who torture for him, those who execute for him, those who accuse in spy reports for him, those who turn the prison key for him... Thousands and thousands participate in this huge intricate structure in the name of power, money, religion, patriotism or just for the fun of it.

When a culture of a land is changed such that murdering is justified, Law is not justice, where every person is afraid of their neighbour, or even their children for reporting them to the authorties, where you are even afraid to think in case the mumbles in your sleep will incriminate you.

For one man to rule a land in his idea of butchery is one thing, as he may be mad, sick, crazy....but for thousands to follow in his path and help him become the monster he wants to be is another point altogether.

Why do dictators get away with murder?

2006-04-06T00:56:00.000-06:00

There must be some problem with the human mind that makes it stop working properly when it is met with a murdering dictator? As Stalin once said:"When one man is killed it is a tragedy...when a million are killed it is a statistic." Why did so many people support Hitler at his time, masses and masses of people supported a criminal for so long. This is also going on in my homeland. So many people where murdered but he remains a hero to many as they identify brutality with power. Is it that the mind is overwhelmed by the foulness of the actions that it shortciruits on logic? I despise anyone who would support a murderer, there is no excuse at all. Actually these people rule by perpetuating hate and xenophobia in their land. Murder cannot be validated by such actions no matter how much government bureaucracy its wrapped up in, and no matter how well it fits into political strategies. Countries that support despotic regimes are even worse as they base foreign policies on murder and destruction. I guess it doesn't matter as long as the killing is happening somewhere else.

It is the man on the street worldwide that I am most disappointed in. We make so many excuses for everyman like; he doesn't have the right information; he doesn't know; he is brainwashed but now I see what I have been avoiding to acknowledge all along and that the human mind is a cowardly, illogical, irrational and emotionally dominated, falling very short of its potential.

Occupied

2006-04-04T05:54:00.000-06:00

There was one planet I discovered in my travels, it was a tiny planet of Goonami and had pink Googoos living on it for centuries.They lived off its land and led simple but happy little lives. A big blue giant from the fourth quarter of the galaxy discovered this quaint planet and took it as his own on the premise that his great great great grand-uncle twice removed had a summer house and holidayed there centuries ago.

This ofcourse was not to the advantage of the poor Googoos as they had no where else to go, and the giant kept taking up more and more space until the Googoos had only 1 square meter to live off, cut off from any water. They put up a fight as big as they could stinging the blue giant's butt. The giant, having good contacts in the United Galaxy Council sent in a complaint and the Googoos got orders to stay away from the giant's arse and sit tight in their square piece of land. Being a tenacious bunch the Googoos kept fighting for their land. Now I hear the Giant is building a wall up to seperate him from the Googoos.

I'm Not With Him!

2006-04-04T03:03:00.000-06:00

Have you ever been so different from all the people around you that you feel like you stick out like a sore thumb? Well, its not easy trying to fit in when you are so garishly unusual. I guess there are many in this world who would understand this. Being different can be such an exhausting experience. Those who meet you feel they know you already in the first 3 seconds, according to installed stereotypes and it takes you months after to remedy the opinion and prove to them the real you, and that’s if you are lucky and they are receptive.

In actual fact you are at the mercy of the other party. If you enter a culture that is wary of strangers to their society and their systems there is really very little you can do other than to try to be yourself. If there is abuse you must try even harder.

What if the galaxy hates you because a criminal of a countryman created disaster and destruction in your name?

The Journey

2006-03-20T03:21:00.000-07:00

I have been searching for 25 years. It’s getting a bit tiring. When you travel so much you feel you loose a bit of yourself in every place you settle in. I am afraid when I do reach my destination there will be nothing left but a vacuous being.

Every land you live in leaves a new mark on your personality. Every new experience creates a new cocktail of values and ideas. When you move around so much you gain and loose parts of your personality. The great thing is that you gain insight into other lands, cultures, people. You realize there is no black and white, just many shades of grey. Stereotypes are reinforced and shattered at the same time and if you open your mind, you learn.

On the flip side, you also lose who you are. You don’t know where to fit it. You become international, with no nation. You understand everyone but no one understands you. You become so generic you dilute your identity. You can live everywhere and belong to nowhere. You are like everybody but similar to nobody at the same time. It’s a weird paradox to deal with, and one I am exploring

I hope this next move will be my last, but I know in my heart it won’t be. There is only one place in this earth I can whole-heartedly call home; unfortunately I’d die if I go there. That’s the reason I have been moving around the globe for so long, trying to find a surrogate land to live in that will adopt me as its own. The problem is I will forever be the foreigner, the outsider, the immigrant, the ALIEN.

I’ve become so used to that mask, I don’t wear it comfortably but begrudgingly until I have a chance to show my true colors. Sometimes Its like a magic trick, people write me off as something in the first 30 seconds of meeting me, then when the moment is right – tada! –
I would take the mask off and give them a nice surprise. Sometimes I do it for purely entertainment reasons it can be quite fun seeing the double take.

The labels I carry are a heavy load, especially when I need to travel light.

Home

2006-03-19T23:15:00.000-07:00

All my life I have felt an incompletness in my identity. It was something that really bothered me and I never could fill it with anything authentic enough. If all becomes well and I could go back “home” I would be able to fill the craters of my being with real personal experiences of my country. It would be a chance to feel, taste, touch, and smell my origins first hand.

All my life the happy stories and accounts about my country have been related to me through the nostalgic rose-tinted memories of my family. What is created is a utopian paradise for which I yearn to belong to.

There is another side of my country that I experience, one that is the total opposite. It is a scarier, more troubling facade that I see propagated in TV, newspapers and the media.

My country has been in crisis ever since I was born. For 25 years it has been ruled by a ruthless dictator who’s war crimes are on par with the likes of Hitler and Stalin. My family is one of millions that fled these past years to escape the villainous clutches of this repulsive “leader” and his horde of conspirers.

The bloodshed that has been going on in my land since we left has cast a dark and heartbreaking shadow over my country. Colours of massacre and death muddy the pretty landscape that was created in the image of the homeland. There are few who have not felt the tragic effects of this evil regime, and many have lost loved ones to it. I think about this every day of my life and thank god for being one of the fortunate ones.

It is this point that makes me hesitate in going back. I don’t know if I can face all that sadness, grief and misery. To see my parents’ dreams as the cracked utopia it always has been. A dirty canvas ruined beyond repair.

Also with the sadness comes the guilt of being the fortunate one. How can I look in the eyes of those who suffered and answer them why them and not me? An unasked question that lies heavy in the air unsaid and untold.

But there is a greater fear. What if I don’t fit in? What if I find out what I keep referring to as my country is infact too different from me to be mine! Ofcourse if I walk amongst the people in the streets and shops I will for the first time in my life, fit in like a native member as we share the same external characteristics, same language, accent. But deep down I am very different from those in my country in my references, my experiences and my ideas. The answer to that question will be most difficult to face if it comes out to be in the negative, as that would confirm that in fact I don’t belong.